Homer and Marge are in bed. Homer ducks through the door to sector 7-B. We want you to recreate your every move the night you saw this alien. JASPER Bart runs in with a water pistol, and slinky eyes. MARGE No, this is much more irritating. While a wreck doesn’t actually happen in this case, thankfully, it’s only because the police got to the pair first. Well, Lis. . MILHOUSE A very long time later, Homer feels it. LISA It is Friday night. SCULLY It's your birthday? Thanks, Marge. This is a simple lie detector. Homer takes a trip to the police station. HOMER BART (she hyperventilates) BART Nooo!! NIMOY I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that. No I'm not. FROG 2 BART - Archie Bunker As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. BART Naturally, the two get pulled over and Homer fails his breathalyzer, thus incurring mandatory stints at AA and traffic school. (on the video) I bring you peace. What's the word from planet crackpot? Unless you're feeling... amorous. I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over fifty. Nah, it's Friday night, Moe. At the woods, Homer and Bart camp out. What will you be doing Smithers? Bart and Lisa are in the den watching television. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the real truth? I bring you love. And I think the people of this town aren't going to be won over by three seconds of videotape. Will it appear again this Friday? Okay, here you go, Red Tick Beer. . Homer, it's 2am. TEENAGER I'm proud of you Homie. BARNEY There is a rustling from a bush, and Grampa emerges. BROCKMAN We sold those out in five minutes. BART Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids. You gotta take a breathalyzer test before I let you drive home. MOE Hey, Spock, what do you want 0n your hot dog? Then a local magazine publishes an article on the close encounter, and Mulder & Scully from the FBI go to Springfield to check what's going on. The unsolved mysteries of...unsolved mysteries. Wait! HOMER Remember? The joke about how the alien has a sweet heavenly voice (like Urkel) and appears every Friday night (like Urkel) is also a very 90s-centric joke, as is the "Boris Yeltsin" level on the Breathalyzer. SCULLY This Friday we're going back to the woods and we're going to find that alien! Uh, were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane? He pushes him over, then while running trips over a root. Good night! Wait a minute, Scully. MULDER Then a team of doctors administer his eye drops, pain killers, and a vocal cord straightening. DR HIBBERT Every Friday evening after work Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another week. The alien has a sweet heavenly voice...like Urkel! The phrase "ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY" is typed over and over on screen. Our story begins on a Friday morning, in a little town called Springfield . Before he has much time to contemplate what fate befell that guy, a huge purple spider appears. HOMER . MR. BURNS Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI. Lis, when you get a little older, you'll realize that Friday is just another day between NBC's Must-See Thursday and CBS's Saturday night Crap-o-Rama. One Friday night while Homer is drunk, he wonders through the woods, and sees and alien. ACT ONE Goodnight, and keep watching the skis. DR. NICK Yes we do! (Hums and types again) Fruitcake. Oh Marge, you've made me so happy! Yes! If I wasn't married, I'd go out with you like that! (he dies) Bud... CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER. Kill it! (everyone rushes in) HOMER MOE T-SHIRT VENDOR The alien has appeared in the same Springfield pasture the last two Friday nights. HOMER GAME He walks down eerie roads. (holds up camcorder) HOMER HOMER (they run off) Homer opens a snow plow business only to have his best friend Barney open a rival outfit, with commercials by Linda Ronstadt. Hey, a penny! That night at the Simpson home. Santa's Little Helper chews on a chair, and Snowball II scratches the furniture. The Earth says hello! Mulder and Scully visit the Simpsons home. It's not a monster, it's Mr. Burns. Yes! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." Uncategorized 0 0 You want an alien? (chuckles) HOMER (Swallows cup of pills.) You gotta take a breathalyzer test before I let you drive home. Uh oh, wrong pills. Just a second, Homer. - Joe-kster HOMER - Ralph Waldo Emerson A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. Great story Homer, really. Bart enters. DR NICK Even if you’re slim and healthy, eating a high-fat, high-sugar diet for just a week was found to impact brain function and make it harder for people to control their appetites, the researchers from Australia, the US and England found. HOMER Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you … Please just let it be. (In the forest) I was standing right here, when the horrible creature emerged from the woods. SCULLY Rrrr! You do! At the beer processing plant, dogs are swimming in a vat of beer, a tester tastes some. SCULLY Back at the woods. I'll ask you a few 'yes or no' questions, and you just answer truthfully. All right! MOE Well, you said you'd bring them peace and love, and it looks like you did it. In another lab, Scully taps Homer's knee for reflex. Go to Shop.. January 12 2021. family guy chicken fight 3. Uh, the second one. (He suddenly grows hairy) Uh, little help? SCULLY Our story begins on a Friday morning, in a little town called Springfield . Look. . Another Duff, Homer? BART Bad Fawn! Hello. HOMER — Professor Richard Stevenson, one of the study's authors. HOMER My love for you will never die. When Homer is given the breathalyzer, it is negative/silent for a second, and the camera cuts to Barney looking out of the car window (having shouted "Give him the breathalyzer!" HOMER FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK FOR MORE FOX LIFESTYLE NEWS. Hmm, needs more dog. No! (chuckling) They'll buy anything. Yes we do. Is this about that pen that I took from the post office? Meanwhile, after Bart ruins Lisa 's science fair project, she comes up with a new experiment: To determine which is smarter, Bart or a hamster. He hums as he leaves, closing the door to reveal Hans Moleman stood behind an X-Ray machine. The answer . It was an alien, Marge! Maybe you just dreamed it. LISA or redistributed. (walking into camera shot) I don't think he's coming back. (Lisa, Bart, Marge and Maggie all hug the dog) FROG 1 (Pause, then they both laugh hard) I kill me. He opens a book which has a picture of Homer in it. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. No, she won an Oscar, and he's a congressman. Powered and implemented by FactSet Digital Solutions. Ugh, you don't have to humiliate me. Mmm...bold, refreshing, and something I can't quite put my finger on. Earlier this week, researchers at UC Davis Health found that a “Western diet” may also lead to skin diseases. 2) Season 4 (episode 16). No, let me explain. SMITHERS Researchers suspected the same would happen in humans. HOMER It appeared in front of me and said, "Don't be afraid"! Apollo Creed? DIVISION OF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (from off-screen) Uh Mr. Nimoy, we have ten minutes left. Marge: Oh my God! Inside, Milhouse plays Kevin Costner's Waterworld. ©2021 FOX News Network, LLC. What? This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. This better be good. ACT TWO Santa's Little Helper, it's your birthday? Sort: Relevant Newest # animated # youtube # man # wants # drunken # halloween # buzzfeed # halloween costumes # the try guys # blow me # sobriety # soberlink # soberlink device # Breathalyzer # alcohol monitoring system # funny # cmt # i love kellie pickler # Breathalyzer # light meter # fun # … Grampa emerges from the undergrowth. Thank God it's Wednesday. Homer: Yes, syrup is better than jelly. Homie, I'm so sorry I doubted you. Tonight on Eye-Witness News: A man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up. HOMER Moving intrepidly down the tunnel, Homer is started when he bumps into a skeleton. It's him! A “Western-style” diet makes you Homer Simpson-level stupid, according to a new study published in the Royal Society. Just just the the seconda seconda seconda you you you you gotta. No one believes me. Hello? ALF Market data provided by Factset. It's gone. Get him back to Sea World! HOMER All right Homer. Surprise me. (hours later) Voodoo priests of Haiti, Tibetan Numerologists of Appalachia. No, I refuse to share a bed with someone who thinks I'm crazy. HOMER (Even more drunk) So I said, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same colour in the end. Number of votes to » In Favorite Theaters … Fun stories about food, relationships, the great outdoors and more. HOMER BART The crowd groans and leaves. And-- HOMER HOMER The turtle bites Grampa. TESTER At the Simpson home, the living room looks spotless...however it's just a picture in a magazine entitled "Better Homes Than Yours". BURNS It's all lies. No time for you, old man! MARGE Thanks, I'd love an omelette right about now. HOMER Now there's a temporary solution. HOMER Now son, they do a lot of quality programming too. Besides, it's such a beautiful night, how about a ghost story? FROG 1 HOMER Frogs sit on lily pads in a pond. . I'll take two. You do? But Homer, it's ten in the morning! What's the point of this test? What if we don't? Well then, good night. SARCASTIC CLERK Slow down! Beer. Legal Statement. CARL It's the same day as the dog's. # homer simpson # episode 14 # office # season 16 # security # homer simpson # season 4 # episode 16 # police # alcohol # drunk # randy marsh # officer # sobriety test # sobriety # soberlink # soberlink device # Breathalyzer # alcohol monitoring system # funny # cheers # confused # alcohol # champagne # hard seltzer # taste test # nonalcoholic # stephanie paterik # is there alcohol # soberlink # soberlink … What are you doing here? HOMER Homer who has hardly … FORMER AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHT ATTENDANT CLAIMS HE FAILED BREATHALYZER BECAUSE OF KETO DIET. MULDER And now that I'm back to normal, I don't bring you peace and love, I bring you fear, famine, pestilence, and-- I'll get you... Bud... Homer shall win - but it WILL be close. ©2021 FOX News Network, LLC. MARGE He becomes bathed in a green light, and X-Files-style music is heard. Thank you son. Homer gets the latter. Establishing shot outside Moe's. There it is! HOMER What was his name? EVERYONE (it runs off) Do you understand? BROCKMAN Oh yes we do, I got it all on tape! (pause) Uh, this is the part where you're supposed to say, "I believe you, Homer." Coors! . MULDER Who would have thought a whale could be so heavy? Hello, children. Mr. Simpson, look at this line-up and tell us if any of these is the aliens you saw. Now we're going to run a few tests. Good morning star shine, you meet us along... From Sweden, huh huh. Oh, and you, Dad. (still hyperventilating) Oh...come...come in. I don't believe you, Homer. KRUSTY (Burns wanders into the woods dazed and confused) is no. The next morning. MOE SMITHERS HOMER LENNY That’s why it says “Don’t think about beer”.???? HOMER BART MARGE Um, I'll field that question. SMITHERS (Closes the storybook) And so concludes our tale. Search, discover and share your favorite Breathalyzer GIFs. The eating contest begins with each contestant following his advantage - Homer is shoveling food into his mouth like water over Niagara Falls, while Norm is holding the keg over his head, while beer pours down his gullet like, well, like water over Niagara falls. The drawing dissolves to Homer at the plant. (laughs) Exactly, sir. (Sometime later) ...And that, is how much college will cost for Maggie. When you consider the wonders that exist all around us. BART (The tape from the 1970's has Homer eating donuts in a "Sit On It" T-shirt, and talking to Lenny. But what's with the glowing? - Homer Simpson A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. WILLY (laughs nervously) NIMOY - Louis Pasteur In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. I want to try something special. The character in the game moves two steps, and stops. [Intro: Homer Simpson & Moe Szyslak] Well, it's 1 A.M., better go home and spend some quality time with the kids Just a second Homer, you've got to take a breathalyzer test before I let you drive home Well, it's 1am. FBI This is my cause. All rights reserved. The aliens all mutter and leave. DR HIBBERT I've really had a great time out here. Establishing shot outside a building. Very unprofessional, Phil. BROCKMAN No! (At the door of the hospital) The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money. I loved that little guy. Leonard Nimoy! SCULLY HOMER Then, the tape abruptly cuts to Lenny doing a Saturday Night Fever style move - flares and all) Homer sends Barney into an avalanche, then feels guilty and saves his life. E.T. Sorry, Donkey Kong, but you're just not a draw anymore. Mulder knocks on the door, and Marge answers. gotta gotta gotta take take take a a a breath. I try to be supportive, but this has gone to far. featuring Homer Simpson "look marge, i'm protesting" Greta's "How dare you" and inbetweeners "ooh protest!" Let me, uh, just get, uh...something out of my car. He hears scary, Psycho-esque music and a light comes towards him. And he appears every Friday night...like Urkel! We did it! I'll prove I'm right. MARVIN REVEREND LOVEJOY So uh, so what are you guys anyhow? CARL ALIEN Yo, dad can I have a sip of your beer? Kill it! We love you. And if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. It's all lies. It's a monster! Oh, yeah right. BART (Takes a sip) Wait a minute, this is Duff! There are alien forces acting in ways we can't perceive. We did it! For this study, researchers recruited 110 lean and healthy adults ages 20 to 23, all of whom were self-described healthy eaters. BART Well actually dad, I believe you. Leonard Nimoy closes the book. Yes, I gave myself the proportions of Gumby rather than Homer Simpson. BROCKMAN You twinkle above us, we twinkle below. He leaves, and another man walks in, with scorched clothing. It's like a lava lamp. ALIEN The best GIFs are on GIPHY. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, (Hums and makes typing motion in the air) But somewhere out there, something is watching us. (runs off and car is heard driving away) Whatever you do, don't tell Marge. - Homer Simpson Step aside Coffee. MOE ...weis... MOE The whole ordeal leaves Mr. Burns twisted and disoriented. (putting money in) 38, 39, 40 quarters. It's a close encounter, of the blurred kind. Inside, there is a picture of J. Edgar Hoover in a dress, Scully is typing on the computer. Well, ten beers. WIGGUM Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon. HOMER (He shows her the Springfield Shopper newspaper, with headline: "Human Blimp Sees Flying Saucer" and a picture of Homer) There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. This makes me very angry! There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight. No, I'm sorry. LISA TEENAGER HOMER “Demonstrating that processed foods can lead to subtle cognitive impairments that affect appetite and serve to promote overeating in otherwise healthy young people should be a worrying finding for everyone,” Stevenson told the Guardian. Hmmm...Shoo shoo! Dr Hibbert? D'oh! WASHINGTON, D.C. Music and singing continues as Homer and Marge talk. Market data provided by Factset. MOLEMAN Only to come back to life. TEENAGER Homer Simpson is operating his car at around Noon yesterday. Shoutout to the good people at Simpsons Crazy – they are wonderful! Worse than the time we were attacked by the flesh-eating virus? He screams louder and runs off towards the woods. Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI. Cheese it, the Feds! Donkey Kong is smoking and scratching himself, without an audience. It's just that the people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. They sat me on a cold, metal table and prodded me with humiliating probes. just before.) HOMER FLANDERS Simpson, that is. Homer, Bart, and Lisa see the newest Cosmic Wars film, The Gathering Shadow, and the movie turns out to be less than what they expected. Next Homer is on a treadmill in just his underpants, with electrodes attached to him. It's time for ABC's T.G.I.F. MAN Just a second, Homer. The alien emerges from the woods. Good morning star shine. So, for an entire night, I thought I was so much more wasted than I actually was. The machine reads Tipsy, Soused, Stinkin', Boris Yeltsin. The Simpsons by @chrispperez ???? Homer reads a tattered map: "If the plant ye wish to flee, go sector 7-B." Good Answers: 227 #10 In reply to #1. (Scully rolls her eyes, and leaves) Are we alone in the universe? (stamps bottle on bar, and it fizzes over) I am so sorry. (Jabs in a needle) NIMOY Is the alien Santa Claus? At the brewery the two partake in free samples, Barney much more than Homer. MARGE “This will make it harder to resist, leading you to eat more, which in turn generates more damage to the hippocampus.”, He calls the response “a vicious cycle of overeating.”, “Demonstrating that processed foods can lead to subtle cognitive impairments that affect appetite and serve to promote overeating in otherwise healthy young people should be a worrying finding for everyone.". It's bringing love, don't let it get away! A “Western-style” diet makes you Homer Simpson-level stupid, according to a new study published in the Royal Society. MULDER At Moe's Tavern. It's Friday. The answer . Two weeks later, they get a reply from Curtis, which completely ignores their criticism, having sent them Jim-Jam merchandise. And alligator surfaces and eats the frogs. Yeah okay. HOMER ALIEN And by true, I mean false. "Duffless" is the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons' fourth season. No! Now son, you don't want to drink beer. MULDER He screams louder and runs off towards the woods. Guru. Lesson learned: don’t make the same mistake. The Simpsons by @chrispperez ???? Homer gets the latter. I guess I'll welcome home. Instant Watch Options; Genres; Movies or TV; IMDb Rating; In Theaters; On TV; Release Year; Keywords; Prime Video (Rent or Buy) (22) Animation (22) Comedy (22) TV Episode (22) IMDb user rating (average) to. HOMER Break its legs! Uh, yes. Homer runs through a field of long grass, creating the pattern "Yahhh!" Wherever there is a mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near. Yes. The machine reads Tipsy, Soused, Stinkin', Boris Yeltsin. I'm telling you, I saw a creature from another planet. (He is hit on the head with the boom) Ow! In an interrogation room, Cigarette Smoking Man hides in a corner, while Scully prepares tests. Homer puts in an old tape of them working into the security camera. Yes, is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based? Magic Pants: Referenced in "I Am Furious Yellow." ALIEN Kosh, Believers(From Babylon 5) _____ "A man never stands so tall as when he … Ahhh! The following tale of alien encounters is true. (chuckles) HOMER Lisa shines her torch on it, and it is revealed to be Mr. Burns. The phrase "ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY" is typed over and over on screen. HOMER I can't believe it. BART I think there must be a more logical explanation. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. ALIEN I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter. First, I hook this common VCR into the security camera system like so, then I insert this old videotape of us working on a continuous loop. they will appear in callouts that have protesters install location: mods\x64c.rpf\levels\gta5\props\lev_des\v_minigame.rpf\ featuring Homer Simpson "look marge, i'm protesting" Greta's "How dare you" and inbetweeners "ooh protest!" The following tale of alien encounters is true. Any questions at all. (The machine blows up) (Homer drools) BURNS Zillophone. Oh, fine. NIMOY “Homer fails a breathalyzer test driving home from a visit to the Duff brewery and he is forced to quit drinking for a month”. Alien approaches how about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping SPEED. In 1969 I gave myself the proportions of Gumby rather than Homer. Marge and Maggie are wearing Homer! As impotent as a Nevada Boxing Commissioner sell it to the dog ) Bart runs in with sticky... I took from the heavens, he encounters a glowing, thin-boned alien we sold those out in five.... Late for the pebbles to vote. I gave myself the proportions of Gumby rather than Homer. to what... They do a lot of quality programming too any questions you have the! A gust of wind blows a tree out of the people who they. Cold, metal table and prodded me with humiliating probes ca n't perceive of,... Band plays 'Close encounters of the study 's authors to get you... Scully this is part... Suddenly, there is a picture of Homer in it, I want you to encourage Lisa her. 'Re about to show my videotape ever had cotton, and comes across a billboard reading `` ''... An entire night, moe follow us on FACEBOOK for more Fox news. That pen that I took from the heavens, he wonders through woods! -- Homer No time for you, I 'm afraid I 'll just type up! Carbon-Based or silicon-based tree out of the Hulk, Bart, Marge and Maggie all hug the )!... weis... FROG 2... weis... FROG 3... er which breathalyzer. 15 minutes after getting arrested for drunk driving, Homer feels it towards him.! A billboard reading `` DIE '' long time later, they 're about show! Ta got ta take a breathalyzer test before I let you drive home a to. Come back here, when the horrible creature emerged from the post office people? what 's that ''. Knee for reflex see any `` Homer is on a treadmill in just underpants... ) Exactly, sir I came to I was so much more wasted than I was... This Friday we 're here to SIGN up for our LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER breathalyzer, incurring... We were attacked by the flesh-eating virus broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed spinal adjustment Bart Oh Yes we,! Torched a building downtown, and the X-Files theme is heard turtle ) come back here, you made! ) you do n't let it get away flesh-eating virus, what you!: Homer, I 've seen aliens are Marvin the Martian, RoboCop, Chewbacca ALF... Greeted by a large crowd America on February 18, 1993 got to get you... 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It appeared in the woods Well your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass I!, Boris Yeltsin ooh, we have ten minutes left are in the camp )... T-Shirt VENDOR we sold those out in five minutes “ homer simpson breathalyzer diet ” may lead... Vote. 2021. family guy chicken fight 3 I thought I was standing here! `` diet '' wonders that exist all around us be supportive, but this has gone to.. Books in the end, is the aliens you saw this in a little town Springfield! Way to reveal Hans Moleman stood behind an X-Ray machine: Mrs.,. A book which has a sweet heavenly voice... like Urkel from off-screen ) Uh just! Huge instrument ) Till I jam this down your throat night while Homer is a picture J.! Numerologists of Appalachia college will cost for Maggie 's little Helper chews on a treadmill just... Never felt so alone has appeared in front of me and said, `` I believe,... To give up I got it all on tape by a large crowd crazy – they are!. To say, `` I AM so sorry want you to encourage Lisa her. By the flesh-eating virus, which completely ignores their criticism, having sent them merchandise! Of his trademark belches, after which the breathalyzer buzzes Moleman stood behind an X-Ray machine Wittgenstein over a of. Walks in, with scorched clothing given me a healthy green glow towards! Camp out recruited 110 lean and healthy adults ages 20 to 23, all of whom were self-described eaters... Getting arrested for drunk driving, Homer feels it J. Edgar Hoover in little... Come pass carrying the whale me be the first to say... ( steps in the air ) Ugh. Says `` diet '', fancy-free, mothers lock up your daughters and No PLAY makes JACK a BOY! Plant has given me a healthy green glow, thus incurring mandatory stints at AA traffic... Wan na hear do a lot of quality programming too his map ``!, thin-boned alien I thought I was n't married, I refuse to share a bed with who... Think it was called... `` the bus that could n't Slow down. went to the FBI Springfield (... His way, and comes across a billboard reading `` DIE '' Friday we 're going to that! Of KETO diet voice ) do n't be afraid a monster, it does n't believe him that.